Brooklyn Crime - A Somewhat True Tale: The True Cost of Tee-Shirts

Disclaimer: The story you are about to read is partially true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, although no one is truly innocent.

My name is Joe Saturday. I write a blog. My partner, Ilana, is sitting at her desk eating a piece of chocolate brownie and trying to annoy the obnoxious couple who live downstairs by stomping on the floor and making loud sounds. She is very good at annoying the couple and she is quite proud of her accomplishment.

Actually, Joe Saturday is me and Ilana is my wife. Not that you need care about that but I will relate a story that involved my son, who is now a prominent Doctor and Lawyer, okay, okay, he is a civil servant like the rest of his immediate family. I will refer to him as Obama to protect his identity.

Obama, was in his late 17s and starting his first semester at his institution of higher learning in the Midwood section of Brooklyn when a shady person attracted his attention.

"Psst. Hey you, com'eer. Ya want a T-shirt?"
"Uh, sure. How much?"
"It's free."
"It's kinda plain".
"What the f..k! I said it's free. Ya wan'it or not?"
"Yeah. I'll take it. Whad I got to do for it?"
"Sign here, and you'll get a credit card with a really high credit limit."
"They'll never approve it. I don't have a job."
"Dats the beauty of it. Ya don't need a f..kin' job to get credit with us. We're even gonna give ya a break and charge ya 29% interest and all ya got to do is pay the minimum each month. You gonna sign it or what?".
"Okay. I'll sign it"
"Thanks buddy. Here's your tee. Send your friends to see me. I'll hook'm up real good."

A week later, Obama, received his credit card and within a few months racked up $4,000 in debt buying electronics, kegs of beer and a new wardrobe. When the bill came he realized that he was up shit's creek and knew that he could not pay that bill. So like any other intelligent person in his age group, he put the invoice in his drawer and forgot about it. Two other bills insued and they joined their pal in the top right hand drawer of his desk.

It was at this point that an enforcer, Charlie "No Nose" Numnutz, started calling the house and when I answered and he said " You Obama?"
"No. I am his father. Can I help you?"
"Your son Obama owes us money and he has not made good on his marker". Kinda Runyonesque, isn't it? I think it makes the story better.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Charlie Numnutz from American Express. Your kid owes us money and I am calling to collect what he rightfully owes us."
"How much does he owe you?"
"For reasons of proprioty, I cannot tell you that. I can only tell you that your son is welching on us and if he don't pay we will ruin his credit rating. You wouldn't want to see anything happen to your son's credit rating. Would ya?"
"I couldn't give a damn about his credit rating. He owes you money, sue him"
"What! You don't give a F..k about his credit rating. What kinda parent are you? Look buddy, if you don't pay on his debt I'll sue you and put him in jail."
"Look idiot. Don't threaten me. You gave a minor without a job a credit card. You can't put him in jail and you can't sue me. So quit calling us and if you like you can come to my house and personally ask for the money."

Actually the Brooklyn way of saying that would be "Listen pal, you don't know who the fuck you're dealin wit. So why don't you come to my door so I can fuck your face over with my fist." But I have evolved a little higher than that and deal with people with a modicum of civility.

This event occurred a decade ago and after having expressed my opinions to elected officials, newpapers and various city and state agencies, this abuse still goes on and adds to the student loan debts that our kids will be saddled with for the next twenty years of their lives.

Credit card providers are out of control. They are allowed to charge interest rates that 20 years ago would have been deemed criminal. They give credit to kids without jobs because they count on the parents to pay their debt to keep their credit ratings intact. I am a supporter of our President and a staunch democrat, but I feel too little is being done to correct this situation. We bailed out the banks but we are still being victimized by them.

Colleges are allowing this miscarriage of justice to occur on their campuses and no one has made any real effort to stop this from happening and protect our children and grandchildren. I implore everyone to express their concerns to their elected officials and demand that this practice by stopped. Until next time.