My Philosophy Revisited

Philosphy, a word originating in ancient Greece, meaning the "love of reasoning".

When I attended Brooklyn College one of the required courses was an introduction to philosphy. Our final project was to write a ten page term paper detailing our personal philosophy and beliefs. Professor Taylor returned my paper a week later with a big red D and wrote that my philosophy was bullshit.

"Bullshit" is the academic term used by highly educated people who do not have the ability to comprehend the views of other people that are believed to be their intellectual inferiors. I have had many discussions with people who have PhDs who believe they are experts in every single facet of life. The degree of PhD means that the person who was awarded that degree is highly proficient in the field that the PhD was awarded in. This means that they are as stupid as the rest of us in every other field.

Okay, enough of the preliminary stuff. I will now get back to my philosophy and I will begin with a question ... What is the largest living organism on this planet? You may say the largest organism on this planet is the mighty blue whale. Or you may not. Unless you said mushroom, you would be wrong. The mushroom cap that you see sprouting from the forest floor is only the reproductive organ of the fungus organism. The entire organism includes the fileal network attaching the mushrooms caps to the entire "network".

Scientists have concluded through genetic testing that the mushroom caps in one part of the forest whose name does not come to mind, was genetically identical to the caps in another part of the forest several miles away. Therefore the cap was part of the same organism that sprouted the cap in the other part of the forest. In conclusion, this was one organism that spreads out many miles and with further analysis it was estimated that the entire organism actually weighed several hundred tons.

Now that I have laid the framework for the basis of my philosphy; and yes, I love mushrooms sauteed with onions (which has actually no relation with my philosophy, unless these were hallucinogenic mushrooms); I will proceed with explaining my philosophy and when I conclude with this I am hoping to start the next scientology cult. Donations will be accepted. Make the checks out to Cash.

Through the study of quantuum mechanics, and I do believe that all mechanics overcharge, the nature of reality is starting to be questioned. When those of us 40 years of age and over, went to school there was matter and there was energy. It now appears that matter is only a phase of energy and energy can be a particle or a wave and the same particle can exist here and across the universe or in another dimension at the same time. We grew up in a universe with three dimensions and were dumbfounded when they said Time was the fourth dimension. In the last 40 years we are now up to eleven. Holy crap! No wonder the generation of our children and grandchildren is so screwed up. We were all on drugs in the 60's and 70's and even under a hallucinogenic, LSD induced stupor, our existence was more comprehendable.

I actually believe in this stuff. The Shroedinger's cat theory was kind of cool. Essentially what Schroedinger theorized was that when the cat is in the box, it is neither alive or dead. It may exist or it may not. I still don't know what this has to do with a kid from the Charlie Brown comic strip, but this is a dynamic kick in the head! This leaves us to question what existence really is.

I know.

There is only one intelligence in this universe and it is not a man or a woman with a long white beard that smites people just for the hell of it. This is a universal intelligence that everything in the universe is a part of. There is no reality. Reality is what the intelligence percieves.

We do not actually exist. We are not only manufactures of that intelligence, we are that intelligence. There is no YOU and there is no ME. There is only I. This intelligence has always existed and has always been alone. Just as a person placed in an isolation tank for several weeks begins to hallucinate and create an alternate reality, this intelligence has had much time to create it's own delusions and realities. We are all one and part of this universal intelligence. I call this the FORCE on steroids. This also explains why the world is so screwed up.

So, in reality, as per my philosophy, Professor Taylor did not give me a grade of D. I gave it to myself. I am writing this blog for me because you do not actually exist and are not really reading this blog. When my keys are not on the table and suddenly they are, it is because they did not actually exist before I brought them into being again. This has some serious emotional overtones and I would seek the help of a therapist if only one really existed.

I am much happier now. I no longer pay my mortgage or any other bills, I can eat whatever I want because my physical body does not actually exist. I love my philosopy and I know you will too!

I wonder if there are any side effects of these new pills the doctor gave me.

Getting back to those donations, even though you do not exist, send them anyway in case I am wrong.