2021: A BANKING ODYSSEY

While watching a TD commercial the other night it seemed only natural to do a fusion bank commercial with the classic movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. Further proof that watching television is not the best thing for you.

A young Chinese woman in a pink blouse runs up to the door at TD Bank while a young man named Bart in a business suit locks it just before she can enter.

Woman (Knocking on the door glass): Wait...I have to make a deposit!

Bart: Sorry, but we are closed.

Genna: (running over and begins to unlock the door): That's OK Bart.  HI, Amy!

Bart (to the customer) talking in a mechanical cadence: I am Banking and Registration Technology but you can call me BART for short.

Bart (Turns to Genna with a far away, disturbing look in his eyes): That is not protocol Bank Manager Genna.

Genna: That's all right Bart. We don't follow the protocol of the industry.

Bart (with a puzzled look on his face): That does not compute Bank Manager Genna. I have been programmed to follow the industry protocol. Conflicts may cause a defect in my programming (slight tic on his face).

Genna: That's OK, Bart. (Smilimg) We don't follow protocol here.

[Ten minutes later]

Bart: Bank Manager Genna, the customer has departed from the store and I have throughly checked that all employees have swiped out and left the building. I have re-locked the door.

Genna: Thank you, Bart. Now that wasn't so bad was it?

Bart: No bank manager Genna, however, while locking up the bank I have noticed a red light in the vault. Would you like to see it.

Genna: Sure Bart let's go downstairs and take a look see.

[They go down the stairs and just before them is the bank vault. Bank manager Genna stands by the vault door and peers inside]

Genna: I don't see the light that you are referring to.

Bart: You can not see it until you enter the safe. Please follow me.

[They enter the vault ]

Bart (pointing to the corner): Look over here.

Genna (bends over and looks towards the wall): I still don't see it

[There is the slamming sound of the vault door closing]

Genna: Bart! Whar are you doing? Why did you close the door?

Bart (looking at his watch) : It is bank protocol to close the safe Bank Manager Genna. I am programmed to shut the safe at 8:00 PM each night.

Genna: But we are still in it and It won't open until the morning! Thank heaven this safe is designed with enough air to last 24 hours.

Bart: I cannot allow you to violate my protocol programming bank manager Genna. I have been programmed to remove all threats to this branch. I am aware of the amount of air in the safe, bank manager Genna. That is why I am going to activate the Halon fire extinguisher to remove all of the air from the vault.

Genna: But we will both die!

Bart: I will not die bank manager Genna. I am a robot and next in line for your position. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!  I am the branch manager now. Tomorrow we will close at 3:00 PM. I have a date with the cute ATM machine in the driveway.