The Million Jew March Against Racism

JJ: Good Evening, this is John Jamison reporting from the mall in our nation's capitol. Tonight we will be interviewing Rabbi Marcus Cohen, organizer of the first Million Jew March against Racism. The march has been scheduled for Sunday, December 26th, 2010 to protest the anticipated failure of Santa Claus to give gifts to the estimated 20 million jews living in the world today.

JJ: Good evening Rabbi Cohen, how are you today?
MC: How should I be? I'm freezing my kishkes off here. Couldn't we do this interview inside?
JJ: Rabbi, I understand that you are expecting one million jews to be here Sunday. That would be a remarkable feat considering the actual number of Jews residing in the country.
MC: No, not really. As in passover we can prove that the 10 plagues are actually 256,000. Therefore, 10 Jews are actually 256,000. If we get 40 to show up that is actually one million twenty four thousand.
JJ: But, to the rest of us wouldn't that seem to be only forty?
MC: What? You see what I am talking about. Jesus walks on water, has a perpetually filling wine goblet. That you believe! Hashem multiplies 40 people into over one million and you question! Well actually you may have a point there but we are expecting a sizeable group as we are serving bagels and lox right after the march. We will also be going to Atlantic City before heading back to Brooklyn.
JJ: What prompted you to organize this march?
MC: I was reading my daily prayers and I had a thought and called out to Sadie, my wife. Sadie! you know what that nice italian family is getting for Christmas? What? She said. A brand new Cadillac. And you know what I got for Hanukkah last week? What? she said. A pair of argyle socks. They are nice argyle socks, but they are most definitely not a Cadillac.
JJ: I don't get your point.
MC: What's not to get? I am the one not to get. This is America, land of the free, land of equal opportunity. Everyone is equal. So why does Santa give the Christian family a brand new $40,000 car and I get a $3.00 pair of argyle socks? Because Santa is a rascist!
JJ: You do realize that Santa is make believe. No body over the age of six actually believes there is a Santa Claus.
MC: Now you tell me? What am I going to do with all those bagels?
JJ: Well, thank you Rabbi. This is John Jamison reporting from the mall.

Meanwhile, somewhere near the north pole:

SC: Ho, Ho, Ho! Hey shrimp, get me my list!
Elf: Here Santa.
SC: Did you check it?
Elf: Twice.
SC: Twice, huh. Barry Levine, is on this list. Isn't Levine a Jewish last name?
ELF: Uh, yea.
SC: How many times have I told you that I do not want any Jews, Muslims and Zoroastrians on this list? I should kick your keyster down the stairs, ya little bastard!
ELF: Please don't beat me again Santa!

To all of my Christian Friends, Merry Christmas! To everyone else, Happy Holidays! HINT: I want a Play Station 3.